Thursday, October 22, 2009

I hate mixed emotions ... even more, I hate Rude peopl

So today Kris and I went to Virginia Beach to visit the New Hope Center for Reproductive medicine. Kinda nervous but someone gave us a great word about them.

We got there and filled out the rest of the paperwork that they don't send in the mail. We didn't wait very long and then we met with Kelly. Not sure of her title but she took some general information and such. Then we met with Dr. Robin. OMG I love her. She's great. She took time to listen to both of us. Not that Kris had a lot to say but none the less. She expressed that I've been through so much to be only 27. (She said I was young! YES! Someone to say I'm young since my birthday.) We had a great appointment with her. Very informative, inspirational and optimistic. So we finally got to my "big" question, "can we cycle in December?" She said absolutely. Just needed to get a few more tests out of the way but she didn't see why not. Oh, and what I knew was coming ... I need to lose 17 lbs by December 1. No problem!

Went through a ton of testing. A millions tubes of blood drawn for me and Kris, EKG, Ultrasound ... everything. All was good. Until ... da da da The financial consult. I had cleared all this with insurance about 4 weeks ago. I was very sure of my benefits and therefore felt we could go forward with IVF. Wrong. The not so nice lady (that's nice for the rude bitch) said that part of a procedure wasn't covered. We're talking a 8k test here. That's a chunk of change. I tried to tell her that I talked to people and before I could finish my sentence she cut me off. Then she wouldn't listen to what I had to say and pretty much said sorry, I talked to your insurance this morning and I know for sure.

So I left in tears. What started as such a good day and appointment ended in stress, tears and heartbreak. I'm trying to talk to my insurance and spent probably an hour on the phone with them today. And this awesome lady with the insurance called me @ 7:30 pm. We're gonna have to try and appeal this but who knows if that will even work. If I had known this in the beginning I wouldn't have had all the tests done today.

I know God had a plan for us. I know it's something Great! But for now, I feel like a failure. I can't have a baby. Kris can. And it's just breaking my heart to want something so badly and I can't do anything about it. So now it's time to put this in God's hands. Sooo hard to do and trust completely. But I have to. We'll just pray and wait for the insurance company to get back to me.